GuessWhat?IWannaBeARobot;..

I don't really know how to put this? I wouldn't say I'm afraid of love or commitment but more the fact that I don't feel I make such a big impact on people's lives. To then commit myself to one person, I'm pretty sure they'd go out of their minds. I guess because maybe I'm never the 'pretty one' in my group of friends and I don't have the highest confidence that it's just me over thinking everything (once again). It's just a bit boring when people ask "So any guys on the go then?" and I just shake me head and reply "No." And when then they ask why, I really don't know what to say back.

I guess maybe because I think to much about the outcome, that even if I speak with someone the way I talk to my friends they'd think I'm a freak and I know that someone is meant to accept you for who you are, but I don't like who I am. I've tried to change several times and it's not possible. Even if I just try to not speak, people assume I'm in a mood or ill. I know you're probably reading this and thinking I'm a drama queen or that I moan far too much but I'm just confused. I know the saying goes 'be yourself' but I don't know or who I wanna be. I'm rather shy at expressing myself either vocally or physically, I always say the wrong thing at the wrong time and then later on, I've missed my moment to say it at the right time. Maybe I could become a robot or something? x